(*) The Faithful and Unfailing Love

PURPOSE:  I believe that God is love.  What a mystery!  Love connotes a lover and a beloved.  What a wonderful way to think about God!  Yes, God is great, powerful, just, forgiving, merciful… and all that… yeah, but, seriously, what is more powerful than Love?  Of course, God is complete, that means all those characteristics exist, and I do believe in God as all of those things.  But, which one has to stand out above all others?  Think about yourself, can you live in a world purely of ‘greatness, power, justice, mercy, wisdom’ and no ‘Love’?  What kind of world would that be?  How would a child develop without love?  What would a child become if all he/she knows is your greatness, justice, and sometime mercy and no love?  Be real!  God is all about relationships.  He loves like a God… pure and holy love.  He loves like a Father… fatherly love.  He loves like a brother/sister… as our friend.  He loves like a lover… romantic.  How incomprehensible!  How does God really say that He is love?  How does He love us?  Don’t just listen to my words and my interpretation… read it for yourself!  May be you are somewhat like me, sick of listening to what other people say and needing to search it out for myself…  let the search begin!

METHOD:  Word searches in the Bible on the word ‘love’ and then I compiled this list, chronologically.

OBSERVATION:

·        God speaks through Prophets about Himself.  These prophets testifies about the unfailing love of God: Abraham, Moses, Jeremiah, Ezra, Nehemiah, Job, King David, Isaiah, Ezekiel, Daniel, Hosea, Zaphaniah
·        God also testifies Himself through His disciples: Matthew, John, Paul, Peter
·        Words that goes together with the love of God: unfailing, faithful, merciful, endures forever, slow to anger, truth, no bounds, corrects
·        God expresses His unfailing love not just through the mouth of Christ, but it had been there since the beginning of time, even in the very first book of the scriptures.

DISCUSSION:  After reading these passages, does it invigorate you to know that our God loves you that much?  It is a Crazy Love!  As we truly search our world views and our hearts and examine our ways, do we truly believe in the possibility to be loved by our creator this much?  Do we forget that a true relationship exist between our God and us in each moment of the day?  Just like there is a strong bond of relationship and love exist between you and your family or friends, even when you don’t see them or get to be with them for extended periods of time.  When you don’t see your loved ones, does it mean that they don’t exist?  Does it mean that your love for them or their love for you disappears?  How much more so do we treat God this way?  It is not crazy to talk to an invisible God.  It is not crazy to believe in an eternity.  To love God gives us the capacity to love others and to have hope.  How does a human get the idea of self-sacrificial love?  Where did that model come from?  Why do you sacrifice yourselves to love other?  Would you sacrifice yourselves to other if you get nothing in return?  Why would anyone do that?  Without God, we merely exist.  Only the ‘present’ matters.  What would be the point of eternity?  What would be the point of learning from the past?  Without God’s perfect love, wrong-doing only matters to the eyes of the victims; and injustice and lawlessness becomes debatable.  Man, I am just so jazzed about what I am reading in the scriptures below.  Please don’t trust my words… Go read it for yourselves!  What do you think?

My desire is that God will make you very uncomfortable with yourself in order to spark a lifetime of curiosity to look for Him more and more in our world.  One thing I do request of you: I beg you, do not turn off your mind and your heart to God's Word.

[--- Read on if you are intrigued ---]

[God sets up a model of sacrificial love and tells us what we must do]

1.      Genesis 22:2  “Take your son, your only son—yes, Isaac, whom you love so much—and go to the land of Moriah. Go and sacrifice him as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, which I will show you.”
2.      Exodus 34:6 The Lord passed in front of Moses, calling out, “Yahweh! The Lord! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.
3.      Leviticus 19:18 “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against a fellow Israelite, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.
4.      Deuteronomy 6:5 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.
5.      Deuteronomy 10:18 He ensures that orphans and widows receive justice. He shows love to the foreigners living among you and gives them food and clothing.

[God reveals His faithful love]

6.      2 Chronicles 7:3 When all the people of Israel saw the fire coming down and the glorious presence of the Lord filling the Temple, they fell face down on the ground and worshiped and praised the Lord, saying, “He is good! His faithful love endures forever!”
7.      Nehemiah 9:17 But you are a God of forgiveness, gracious and merciful, slow to become angry, and rich in unfailing love. You did not abandon them
8.      Job 10:12 You gave me life and showed me your unfailing love. My life was preserved by your care.
9.      Psalm 31:7 I will be glad and rejoice in your unfailing love, for you have seen my troubles, and you care about the anguish of my soul.
10.   Psalm 40:11 Lord, don’t hold back your tender mercies from me. Let your unfailing love and faithfulness always protect me.
11.   Psalm 40:16 But may all who search for you be filled with joy and gladness in you. May those who love your salvation repeatedly shout, “The Lord is great!”
12.   Psalm 57:10 For your unfailing love is as high as the heavens. Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.
13.   Psalm 59:17 O my Strength, to you I sing praises, for you, O God, are my refuge, the God who shows me unfailing love.
14.   Psalm 85:10 Unfailing love and truth have met together. Righteousness and peace have kissed!
15.   Psalm 90:14 Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love, so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives.
16.   Psalm 103:8 The Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.
17.   Psalm 136.  His faithful love endures forever.
18.   Psalm 147:11 No, the Lord’s delight is in those who fear him, those who put their hope in his unfailing love.
19.   Isaiah 30:18 So the Lord must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help.
20.   Isaiah 43:4 Others were given in exchange for you. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you.
21.   Isaiah 54:10 For the mountains may move and the hills disappear, but even then my faithful love for you will remain. My covenant of blessing will never be broken,” says the Lord, who has mercy on you.
22.   Jeremiah 3:19 “I thought to myself, ‘I would love to treat you as my own children!’ I wanted nothing more than to give you this beautiful land— the finest possession in the world. I looked forward to your calling me ‘Father,’ and I wanted you never to turn from me.
23.   Jeremiah 9:24 But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth, and that I delight in these things. I, the Lord, have spoken!
24.   Lamentations 3:22 The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease.
25.   Lamentations 3:32 Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love.
26.   Ezekiel 16:8 And when I passed by again, I saw that you were old enough for love. So I wrapped my cloak around you to cover your nakedness and declared my marriage vows. I made a covenant with you, says the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine.
27.   Daniel 9:4 I prayed to the Lord my God and confessed: “O Lord, you are a great and awesome God! You always fulfill your covenant and keep your promises of unfailing love to those who love you and obey your commands.
28.   Hosea 14:4 The Lord says, “Then I will heal you of your faithlessness; my love will know no bounds, for my anger will be gone forever.
29.   Zephaniah 3:17 For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”
30.   Matthew 5:44 But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!

[Transition point in scripture: from God expressing His ‘unfailing love’ to His love taking human form]

31.   John 1:14 So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son.
32.   John 1:17 For the law was given through Moses, but God’s unfailing love and faithfulness came through Jesus Christ.
33.   John 13:34 So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.
34.   John 14:23 Jesus replied, “All who love me will do what I say. My Father will love them, and we will come and make our home with each of them.
35.   John 15:13 There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
36.   Romans 5:5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.
37.   Romans 5:8 But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.
38.   Romans 8:35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?
39.   Romans 8:38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.
40.   Romans 8:39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

[This is what we must do with God’s love]

41.   Romans 12:9 Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.
42.   Romans 12:10 Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.
43.   1 Corinthians 2:9 That is what the Scriptures mean when they say, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.”
44.   1 Corinthians 16:14 And do everything with love.
45.   Galatians 5:13 For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.
46.   Ephesians 4:2 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.
47.   Ephesians 4:16 He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.
48.   Colossians 3:14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.
49.   1 Thessalonians 3:12 And may the Lord make your love for one another and for all people grow and overflow, just as our love for you overflows.
50.   1 Thessalonians 4:9 But we don’t need to write to you about the importance of loving each other, for God himself has taught you to love one another.
51.   1 Timothy 1:5 The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith.
52.   2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
53.   2 Timothy 2:22 Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.
54.   1 Peter 3:8 Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.
55.   1 Peter 4:8 Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.
56.   1 John 3:16 We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters.
57.   1 John 4:7 Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God.
58.   1 John 4:8 But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
59.   1 John 4:12 No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.
60.   1 John 4:16 We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.
61.   1 John 4:18 Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.
62.   1 John 4:19 We love each other because He loved us first.
63.   Revelation 3:19 I correct and discipline everyone I love. So be diligent and turn from your indifference.

[--- The ‘Love’ Chapter ---]

1 Corinthians 13

If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. ³ If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;^[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.
⁴ Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud ⁵ or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ⁶ It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. ⁷ Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
⁸ Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages^[b] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! ⁹ Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! ¹⁰ But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.
¹¹ When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. ¹² Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.^[c] All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
¹³ Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

(*) A Place of Dreams?

Would this place of dreams for you?
   A place with:
       Beloved family and friends
       Activities you enjoy
       Physical pleasures you can have
       Natural beauty you can immerse in
       Supernatural wonders to explore?

   And a place without:
       Sadness
       Sickness
       Human conflict
       Natural disaster
       Injustice & Inequality?

Would it still be a place of your dreams if,
       God is absent?

(*) 12 Thoughts on The Kingdome of Heaven

Thought 1: Matthew 13:44 – Kingdom of Heaven is like hidden treasure.  A man found it and hid it again.  Then he sold everything he had and bought the field.
      What I've Learned to the above parable:
   Layer 1: why would the Kingdom of Heaven be something one can purchase?  Is it greed driven or true-love driven?
   Layer 2: giving up everything to acquire possession more abundant than one can earn… There is an uncontrollable, deep, visceral response when we encounter a great treasure.  It drives us to behave oddly and above rationality.  It grabs our faculties.
   Layer 3: When we find an immense treasure like the Kingdom of Heaven, it should trigger an uncontrollable visceral response to acquire it at all cost.

Boasting (said or unsaid) = number keeping, record keeping, accomplishments, achievements, titles, people pleasers, insecurities

Thought 2: Jesus uses parables to sieve out the genuine seekers from chaff, the imposters. 
   What I've Learned: If we don’t seek deeper wisdom and just merely rely on what is obvious, then we are actually missing the message.

Thought 3: Parable of the sower:

1.      Seed = Word of God = Scripture = Christ
2.      Soil = Condition and readiness of heart to grow the ‘seed’
      What I've Learned:
1.      Do not be ready to assume the quality of my own soil!
2.      Thorns = anything that distracts us from God.  We simplify life by removing thorns.  We accumulate piles and piles of thorns.  God is the sunlight.  Thorns cover the soil and seeds from getting the nutrition of God’s light.  Periodically, God’s fire is necessary to burn off all the thorns to turn them into fertilizers for our soil, so the seeds can grow.

Thought 4: Are we trying to be just good enough or simply meeting our own expectations?  We assume that we know who God is to us… we do what we think He would want us to do, but we always fail!  On one hand, we strive for our idea of what it means to be God’s child, on the other hand, we know that the best we can give God is like ‘filthy rags.’  So, why are we trying?  
      What I've Learned: God did everything for us already, why are we still trying to reach God or to please God?  He put Himself among us… Emmanuel.  I don’t know why, but He did.  So, how should we behave if everything is already done, we can’t do anything or add anything!  I think ALL we need to do is to recognize His presence, invite Him in, cling to Him, let His will be our will, and let us go wherever He goes… (simply, it is not about what you do or say for God or not for God)

Thought 5: Isaiah 29:13 “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.  Their worship of me is made up of only rules taught by men.”
      What I've Learned: This verse pierces through ‘religion.’  Religion is a made up set of rules, used by men to control men.  All religion is the same, dead.  A genuine God-follower, although doesn’t live contrary to these rules, abandons the rules and approaches God as reality, fully expresses all humanity married with the presence of God.  This is expressed in perfection through Jesus the Messiah. 

Thought 6: Do you want to be saved from your sins or just the penalty of your sins?  Sin = reality without God.  Penalty of sin = eternity without God. 
   What I've Learned: Why would one want to be with God for eternity if they don’t want God in the first place?  Why do all religions attract us to live a perfect life in ‘heaven’ without God?  And why would there be various levels of perfection in many ‘tiers of heaven’?  Many levels of perfection really mean no perfection at all… interesting!  Perfection is One.  God is One.

Thought 7: This Sunday in church, I heard a sermon on the topic of Deo Volente, or, God’s Will, in James 4.  “If the LORD wills, then we shall live and do this or that.”  Boasting or planning anything apart from God is evil!  “To him who knows to do good and does not do it, sins.” 
      What I've Learned: We typically think that if we know what is right and don’t do it, then we sin.  This expends ‘sin’ from ‘reality without God’ to everything we don’t do right!  NO, this is not what it means!  Read it in context.  It really means that if we make plans apart from God’s Will, it is sin!  This interpretation is consistent with the definition of ‘sin’ as ‘reality without God.’  Anything without God is ‘sin,’ thus, planning without God is sin also.

Thought 8: The first and greatest commandment: “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” – Deuteronomy 6:5, Matthew 22:37, Mark 12:30, Luke 10:27.  The second greatest commandment: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
      What I've Learned: If we are to model after God’s love, our love should also be unconditional.  We love regardless if the other satisfies our criteria.  We love God first, then others second.  Neighbors, often time they are friends and foes.  So, we are to love our friends and our enemies alike!  Wow, how it confronts our limits!  Does love exclude or embrace?  Righteousness and justice as balanced by love and grace.  Love and grace win!  Our righteousness and justice should come as second place to our love and grace… as modeled by Christ.  We are failures, but Christ embraces us and brings us into His family regardless that we are so wrong in His eyes.

Thought 9: CS Lewis said “It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this.”
      What I've Learned: We can tell a person’s destination by how they invest themselves on Earth.  Jesus the Messiah is always among the poor/oppressed/sick/broken/sinners… If we want to be Jesus’ follower, we should be there too, regardless of our wealth. He can use everyone.  The wealth He gives us, gives us greater responsibility.  If we don’t invest in eternity, that’s how we become ‘ineffective.’  To fight ineffectiveness is to invest in eternity.  Eternity is where Jesus is, so do what He did when He was here.  That’s how we become effective, and this is how the world is going to see Jesus.

Thought 10: Isaiah 58 – “This is the kind of fasting I have chosen: to lose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke”
      What I've Learned: The fast that God has taken is also what Jesus the Messiah look like when He was here.  The fast is not to check off a list of things to do.  It is not for self-righteousness or self-glorification.  It is for God!  It is to set the oppressed free!  We cannot fast to God and then turn around to oppress another or to do nothing when we know others are oppressed!  That is essentially what a hypocrite does!  God said hypocrites are lukewarm and He will spit them out of His mouth!

Thought 11: We structure our lives so we don’t have to live by faith.  We are well stocked.  We store up for our future.  So, when something unexpected happens, we question God and we give up our trust in Him. 
      What I've Learned: Wow.  That’s me.  I keep thinking about how to get rid of loans, how to buy investments and insurance.  I am the rich person who’s building more barns for storage.  God would say to me “what a fool, this very night your life will be taken from you…”  Oh God, forgive me, what should I do next?

Thought 12: We equate our partially sanitized lives with holiness.  We daily wash clean the outside of ourselves, but our insides are like the flower vase on the shelf, it is full of dirt and uncleanliness. 
      What I've Learned: We wash up on the outside, do all the right rituals, read God’s Word, pray, give our monies, and go to religious services…  But, all that ‘holiness’ is just like cleaning the outside of our container.  However, on the inside, it is filthy.  It never gets cleaned.  It just accumulates spider webs and dirt.  We don’t go through our lives and take the time to dig into the deepest and darkest corners of our insides to ask God to come in and purify and to wash our dirt away.  We don’t let God turn us upside down, scrub us inside out, and bleach us with the redemption of His blood. 

My Prayer:
God I realized that I am a sinner in every way.  I am broken.  I am being broken.  You have blessed me, yet, I have been storing up the wealth instead of being generous.  I call myself follower of Jesus, but I don’t act like Jesus the Messiah.  Please help me to worship You with my heart not by following rules created by men.  Help me to seek Your will first in everything, and never make plans apart from You.  Help me to not just talk about doing Your will, but to actually ‘do’ Your will.  Help me to Love You first, above all else, then to love others, especially my enemies.  Help me not to store up wealth, but do as you commanded, to share the wealth you have given to me, especially to those who cannot pay me back.  Help me God, to take on the ‘fasting’ that you have chosen for Yourself, to break the chains of injustices and to set the oppressed free.  Help me to not judge others, but to love them.  Help me not to ‘fast’ or do things for self-righteousness or self-glorification.  God, please send your holy fire to burn up all the thorns in my life, to turn distraction into fertilizers for my soil.  God, help me to give me opportunity to prepare my soil for your seed to grow and make me a better cultivator of my soil and other soils around me.  God, please turn my vessel inside out, scrub me clean on the inside, and bleach me with your blood.  God, I now understand this struggle and unease as the work of your scrub brush within my soul.  I also take comfort that sufferings and trials are the evidence of your holy fire burning through me to rid impurities and create fertilizer for my heart to grow deeper roots in You.  God, prepare me to receive from You and to receive You.  It is such a mystery that, though You are completely capable to do everything on Your own, that You desire us to experience You and have chosen me to come along side and participate in what You are doing in this world.  Thank You for Your everlasting love.  I am at peace now in the refuge of your overwhelming embrace. 

(*) We can die anytime! Regrets? Anxieties? Self-Obsessions?

 

 

“You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.”  -Proverbs 19:21

Job 38,40
² “Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words? ³ Brace yourself like a man, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them.”
⁴ Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?
⁸ Who kept the sea inside its boundaries, this far and no farther will you come.
⁴¹ Who provides food for the ravens when their young cry out to God in hunger?

² “Do you still want to argue with the Almighty?
You are God’s critic, but do you have the answers?”
⁸ Will you discredit my justice and condemn me just to prove you are right?
⁹ Are you as strong as God? Can you thunder with a voice like his?

¹⁴ How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. ¹⁵ What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” ¹⁶ Otherwise you are boasting about your own plans, and all such boasting is evil. ¹⁷ Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.  –James 4:13-17

As I start this chapter, I’m thinking, life is too busy.  Too many things.  Too overwhelming.  There is no time to work, study, learn, and plan where God wants me to be and really think about what He’s will is for my life.  Busy-ness makes me ignore life.  Sweep everything under the rug to deal with them later.  I live like I know I have another day to deal with unresolved business and unconfronted transgressions. 

I realized that even if I do my best to plan life well, experiences tell me that God ALWAYS change my plans.  Though I don’t get what I ask for, He somehow makes things more beautiful than what I can ever ask for or achieve on my strength alone… 

If my desire is to be the ‘apple of God’s eyes,’ am I spending enough time in front of God’s face enough to see myself in His eyes?

As I sip my cup of hot Aztec spicy mocha espresso latte from the Flying Goat Café in downtown Santa Rosa, I am struggling to wrap my mind around how apparently complex life is, and at the same time, how paradoxically simple life is…

Is God really the center of my life?  Is He the apple of my eye?  Well, OF COURSE NOT IF I’M SO SELF ABSORBED!  I think about myself all the time.  I worry about my future.  I worry about my relationships.  I worry about what people think of me.  I worry about my debts.  I worry about my performance at work.  I worry about EVERYTHING!  My mind won’t let me go.  My guilt won’t let me go.  My shame won’t let me go.  My own unforgiveness won’t let me go!  SELF-OBSESSION… 

Self-obsession makes me speed-walk unconsciously through crowds, splitting groups of people, with my head buried between my shoulders and my eyes piercing through the ground…  consciously, attentively, focusedly… lost… marinated in my own thoughts that swirled around a soupy existence of cosmic conglomeration of thoughts.  Thoughts that integrate at the same time disintegrate.  Grasping the fog…  Head in the cloud or in the concrete? Ying-Yang? 

Ironic, I don’t think about things that are going right. 
Just like my mind don’t tend to highlight areas in life that are functioning healthily and correctly,
I don’t think about my body, the wonder of it all, the miracle that it is self sustaining and self healing.  What kind of creative wisdom God must have put into it… it is incredible!
I don’t think about people around me.  The masses are like props or extras on a movie set. 
I don’t think about how my actions right now is impacting or changing the future of myself, my family or the world.
I don’t think about my age.
What is on my mind?
To become debt free
Incongruence of various life compartments
Most of all:
I fear being made ineffective and unable to accomplish God’s will and His purpose for my life!
Desperate,  I need solutions for my paralysis.

We all have worries… I think it really reflect a basic trust issue I have for God.  Same principle applies when anyone reads the Bible or approach any topic of discussion that is worth pondering… the root of the issue at hand is ALWAYS SPIRITUAL.  The apparent and surface issues may be physical, it may be relational, it may be unacceptable expectations, it may be traumatic, it may be extremely sad or happy, it may be out of your control…  Stress… Anxiety… Depression… unhealthy compensations…But the deep: …SPIRITUAL…  Control issues?  …SPIRITUAL…

This has never come up to me before!  Today is the first day I realized that I have control and trust issues with God!  Once He has enlightened my heart, I have to address it now!  

REQUESTS:
God please give me strength and ability to release my control and stress and trust to you.  God show me what You want me to do today!  It takes effort to hear from God.  I must re-organize my life to put God first, rather than my own worries.  I have to die to the process of myself in this world.  May God increase as I decrease.  I have to let go of my job, family, relationships, and myself.  God, please remove my distractions that take place of You in my heart/mind/soul.  Please lift the thick veil that is covering my eyes and the eyes of those around me so that we can experience a truly fulfilled life and become the ‘Apple of Your Eye.’

(*) Crazy Love: Stop praying! Stop talking 'at' God.

Eccl 5:1-2 “Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart by hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth.  Therefore, let your words be few.”

“Men are not impressed with their insignificance until they contrast themselves with the majesty of God” -Sproul.

God didn’t have to create an intense diversity of the same things… but He did!

All creation worship God.  Psalm 19:1-4.  “Heaven declare Glory to God, skies proclaim works of His hands, Day after day, they pour forth speech…”

We don’t get to define God.  God is holy, all knowing, all powerful, eternal, fair and just

Heb 4:13 “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight.  Everything is uncovered and lay bare before Him…”

Col 1:16 “Everything is created by Him, for Him.”

Psalm 115:3, Daniel 4:35 “God does what He pleases.”

Something to think about:
As I sat here in my favorite coffee shop, my mind churns and my heart is exploding.  I start thinking… why do I pray?  What is prayer?  Why do I talk to an invisible God?  How can I believe in the existence of God, a force invisible, love and just?  How do I know it is one God, not many gods… what does He offer or why does He need to exist?  Why is this God the “Truth” and others are not?!  My finite brain goes crazy! 

First of all, instead of going into apologetics and polemics and using multiple libraries of references to answer these questions… let’s just get simple. 

First we have to be honest with ourselves:

1.      We didn’t create the world

2.      We cannot explain exactly how we all get here and why everything exist

3.      Despite all of our theories, we still don’t have a grip on the explanation.  Theories continue to change and ‘evolve.’

4.      As much as we study the wonder and attention to detail of our world, we are limited by our existing technology, though we are making leaps and bounds, and we are limited by our ability to understand.  Aren’t you amazed?  In the history of the world, our capabilities just continue to get better and more advanced!  Even in our physical capabilities… how come the same body a few thousand years ago cannot do what we do today, cannot create out of the same conserved matter on this planet what we are making today, or to create data out of nothing, or to create other matter that are controlled by other matter, even thinking and processing the world by themselves… automation… all created by us?  We continue to explore the details of space and even the human body… how long have physicians been dissecting the body and looking at it?  How come we don’t have it all figured out?  How do we heal wounds?  We don’t!  We can do everything to encourage healing, but we cannot actually heal.  I am a physician and have seen many bodies fail and die despite the best care we offer…

Well, it seems to me, there are way too much we can’t explain without a “cause.”  Things this wonderful and complicated cannot just simply ‘exist’ or ‘evolve’ without a cause or have momentum for change and development.  What gave the first push?  What started the life?  If the world is just in a continuum of motion and now it is just continued to be in motion… What started the first motion?  What about the 2^nd law of thermodynamics, entropy, where everything tends to go from order to disorder.  This world is continually degrading, not constructing…  The world gets older, all life dies at some point and birth happens at some point… this testifies to an incomprehensive and wonderful ability for body to heal, at the same time, an inability to regenerate and to repair damages to our bodies fast enough to keep us from getting old.  How does the first life know to evolve a particular process to repair itself, nevertheless, millions of simultaneous needs in one body to repair itself every second… how does the first life know to repair one damage vs a million damages in the cellular level?  If God doesn’t exist, none of our theories comes close to offer a plausible explanation.  None.  Ironically, possibly creatively paradoxically, among all its mysteries, existence of God makes most sense and is the simplest idea to understand!  The youngest of child should be able to understand the simple truth of God, it shouldn’t take an intellectual to understand God.

If God exist, does He exist for us?  If that is true, then we are a necessity for God’s existence.  If that’s true, then we can make demands or requests to God and we would expect that God would listen to us.  If god is many, then which one should I get to know or to worship or to please?  Should I spend every second in life worrying about not be able to worship all of the gods or to please them? Or, to abide by all the rules of each individual diety?  What are their boundaries or expectations?  Too much to know even for one God, why would you want more than one?  Enough wonders and headaches comes from having one spouse, why would anyone want more than one to cherish?  Wouldn’t you want to be loved by ONE and to give your whole heart to ONE, rather than giving part of your heart to many and to know that you are not the only one THEY love?  To know the absolute standard of holiness and justice and love… absolute defines one God, one standard, to which everything else gets compared to.  Ironically, possibly creatively paradoxically, oneness of God makes most sense and is again the simplest idea to understand! 

Now, if there is a One Holy Absolute God… why do I drop off my “laundry list” when I pray to Him?!  I wonder why God hasn’t strike me mute for constantly annoying Him like a dripping faucet with the way I pray.  We show so much contempt, so much irreverence, so much arrogance, so much pride, so much disrespect to our LORD and King.  Why do I pray to God with a ‘pre-fabricated prayer,’ like a fixed prayer that I pray everytime before meals or needing a parking space…  Does He not know my needs before I see it?  Does He not know where I am going or what my troubles are before I am there?  With His splendor and indescribable majesty, how can I think that offering my best in exchange for some of His graces is good enough for Him?  How can I think that my best, or the labors of my blood, is worth anything to purchase anything from God?  God is not impressed with my offerings or what I can give Him.  My best looks worst than dust in comparison to His glory!  Imagine you approaching the king in all His majesty with your head bowed to the ground… Now, say one of the prayers that you say every day… Imagine that?!  Will you be ashamed?  Will you be mute?  Does that sound preposterous?

Imagine a king in all his majesty inviting the lowliest of his kingdom to dine with him and to offer love and life for them… unimaginable!  But, that is our God!

It is precisely this simple truth that showed me that everything good comes from God.  Everything I have comes from God (job, money, possession, friends, family, even my ability to love God, even my desire to want to spend time with Him, even my desire for the knowledge and understand of Him comes from Him!)  It is God’s choice alone to create us.  It is God’ choice alone to want to redeem us back into heaven.  It is God’s choice alone to want to restore our sinfulness to His glory and holiness.  It is God’s choice alone to want to bless us so we can bless others.  It is God’s choice alone to give us desire for Him.  It is not based on anything we can do for God or what we are doing right in our lives to make us thing that we are closer to God than other people.  God’s love and blessing in our lives come only from Him!  We cannot earn it.  We cannot deserve it.  We are completely useless in comparison to Him.  Yet, the holy God of the universe decided to love us and to give us life and to instruct us to share His love, His story, and His gifts and blessings with everyone around us.  Amazing… speechless…. What else can I say?

Have you ever been amazed at those other humanoids around you?  What impressed you about them?  How long will your amazement last?  Will you remember them for ages and ages to come?  Or even for 10 min until you meet another amazing humanoid?  God never ceases to amaze me!

The world has no desire for Him.  The world has intense desire to fill a void that they cannot fill, because, the void is actually God Himself.  In fact, as much as the world tries to fill the void in their heart, oxymoronically, it also has an intense hatred for God!  Yes, the world hates God.  God is judgment to them.  God is hell to them.  God makes them feel guilty and ashamed and uncomfortable.  They don’t see how God can be loving or enjoyable.  They don’t care about God.  They won’t do anything for those who are suffering, though they won’t stop talking about it.  They see children and women being killed and trafficked but they won’t do anything to help.  They only put up a front, a façade, and actions of love are not part of their reality.  They only dream and debate and argue… but never put it into action.  They live in their minds and not in their bodies… or live completely in their body and not in their hearts.  They are ‘faith’ without ‘action’… and/or ‘action’ without ‘faith.’  They are impotent.  They are paralyzed by fear.  They are ineffective.  They are just fake. 

It is like there is a thick veil that covers their eyes between the 'windows of their soul' to the holy presence of God.  Like the curtain that covered the Holy of Holys in the temple, which in the hour of Jesus, it was torn apart... so that forever in eternity, we are no longer separated from His presence... but, His presence fills us and enables us and completes us.

The indicator of God in your life is that you will have a desire to pursue after God, to want to spend time with Him, to make His concerns your concerns, and that your heart will break for what breaks His heart.  If you don’t have this, God is probably not at the center of your heart.  If you have any desire for God at all, you need to re-evaluate yourself and ask God to help you make Him the center of your life!  The desire to love God is supernatural, not natural! 

Request: 
God would you please create a whole new worship experience for me?  God please forgive me.  Forgive my transgressions.  I am at fault of many of the things you have revealed to me in the above passage.  Please draw me into your heart.  Please allow my heart to be overwhelmed by You.  Please don’t let me out of Your presence, even with all of my faults and disobediences.  Please heal my wounds.  Please wrap Your arms of refuge around me.  I want to dwell in Your presence forever.   www.crazylovebook.com