(*) Physcians = Special Forces

Today, I have learned another fact
Physician = Special Forces
We volunteer ourselves for the job
Trained to function under extreme exhaustion
Trained through negative reinforcements
See lots of trauma and death
Patients die right under our hands
Sweep all under a proverbial rug…

Viewed as Clergy, yet not trained
Regardless of age, expected to walk another from earth to life after
Expected to guide patients and families to help them die more peacefully and humane.

Things we experience may appear on the nightly news
But, no one would ever truly understand
We compartmentalize.

As I listen to ‘regular’ people. 
Express mystery with the process of illness
Do not understand: Process, diagnosis, treatment, death, ‘cure’
Pray for miraculous healing and removal of cancer.

Though I cannot ignore the mystery and the wonders
Most concerns of the ‘regular’ people have become second nature to me
I understand, as I deal with these things on a weekly bases.
Despite my age, I have seen a lot more than they’ve experienced.

Suddenly, a flood light blasted on
I realized that we live in 2 different universes.
As a physician, I am privileged to much more…
I have understanding to things other attribute as mysteries.
How do I reconcile the 2 worlds?
After all, these ‘regular’ people are my ‘patients’.

This reminds me:
1. Be present and emotionally available in the middle of their sufferings.
2. Treat the whole family as one, not just focus on the patient.
3. Identify and address their basic concerns and do not try to change them.
4. Numbers and statistics and figures are not helpful.  Delaying death is not our responsibility.
5. People want to know the big picture and if their loved ones will be comfortable and have good quality of life.
6. Take joy in all circumstances… it is possible even in the deepest of sadness.
7. Pray. This is the only language to communicate the mysteries

(*) Presence of God

 

We are imperfect men/women.

The holy and perfect God created us.

For what purpose?

 

None other than pure joy of being with us!

 

Are you still looking?

 

Friends, God is already in your 'heart'!
He has made us His dwelling place through the Messiah.

All you have to do is to ask Him to show you His Presence.

Once you recognize that, you are already in the Kingdom of God.

 

Evil intent to destroy our mortal bodies,

But can never take away the Presence of God.

 

In our bodies, there are many unquenchable sadness and sorrows,

Only in the Presence of God can we have true peace,

despite our traumas.

 

Go ahead... I dare you to search...

(*) Unquenchable Thirst

Quench My Thirst

God is perfect
Created a perfect world
Desired us to be with Him
God and us, a whole and perfect world.

Tempted and deceived, Adam sins
Desire to ‘be like God,’ so, out of God’s presence we go
The punishment is not just a God-less existence
But, also a ravaging burning thirst of the seraphim’s bite.

Mind altering thirst, unquenchable
Desire for living water and eternal life
Drives men mad to seek everything to satisfy
But without God, efforts to quench begets more thirst.

Abraham’s faith led him to sacrifice his son
Moses’ faith lift up the bronze snake for healing
Our wonderful God provided a savior
A perfect sacrifice to redeem our thirsty and dying souls.

Abba Father is our God
Holy Spirit is the glory of God
Jesus the Messiah is our redemption
And the living water that refreshes and bubbles up from within.

Once sin makes us focus on ourselves
With blood of the lamb that was slain
Re-focus our eyes back on God
We repent and accept His presence within us.

As God’s heavenly glory fills our beings
We no longer thirst or question His existence
Living water refreshes our souls
Emmanuel is Eden restored.


 

(*) Val Tramonte - YouTube Video Poetry Contestant #1

Val, awesome vid. 
I am glad to have known you. 
You truly have an genuine heart after the one true love.
I can see His glory reflected in and through your face and your heart.

People, check out this vid.  It is an inspirational and life changing rap from the heart.
I hope it will change your heart too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4UFA6dHY9Q

(*) Two Ancient Twigs

Symbol of Obsession and Mystery

Anyone?  Please tell me!

Embossed shirt breasts, Rhine-stoned jean derrieres

Adorn sensual neck lines, Permanent body arts

 

Precious metals, Twine nails

Roughen woods, Towering trees

 

Created by Persia, Perfected by Rome

Instrument for injustice, suffering, torture, and death

Nothing is more gruesome than thee!

How did you become a symbol of love and peace?

Emmanuel, Isa Al-Masih
You are the turning point
 

Question for our generation
One has to wonder...

If you don't believe in the Turning Point...
Then aren't you adorning and worshipping the symbol of injustice and death?

Shower

Mists are a place of wonder
An ambiguous space between the present and the future
A matrix of physical and spiritual, energy and matter
A place where my mind wanders

My mind zone-out and enlivens
My skin tingles and smoothens
My mouth waters and my lips moistens
In the mists my reality is fastly forgotten

The new world links to the old
From the battles between brothers and the stories foretold
Comes a timeless story mesmerized by every soul
We longed for redemption and we longed for an eternal glue that holds
Our hearts and souls in eternity sold

Yet, in my misty dream, the voice of God become clear
He recounts the mysteries our minds want to clear
He reminds me of infidelity and His blood washing it clear
He reveals knowledge and conviction that seem all too clear
He embraces me as a mist that refuse to clear

As the thrones of Vatican and Canterbury fill
As the violences in the Middle East build
As the dragon in the East grows
As the eagle dwindles and falls
The chains holding the inevitable fail

Mists turn steam
Lashes, flesh and blood fly across the expanse
Excruciating pain endured by my beloved, wrangles my gut
Injustice, oppression, slavery, deception, bondage
Murder and rape without guilt
In the name of shame we shed our own blood
In the name of family we ostracized each other’s heart
Tracing the footsteps of Cain, we continue to shed our brother’s blood

Battle sounds from helms-deep
Started the sons of Shem and Ham
Fueled by the clans of Jacob and Esau
Men killing men, brothers killing brothers
Mothers killing their babies, judiciaries killing men’s rights
As you say: oh why so down casted oh my soul?  Where is Joy?  Where is Hope?

In my misty solitude, as the mists turn into steams
As the steam enlivens and expands my inner ocean
As the waves churn and pound and attempt to drown
I miserably continue to hold onto my innards
Squeezing the nausea down my bowels


At last, my mind wonders, why a revelation of this kind has to happen in the mist
As if I wandered into an Elvin forest and emerged a different man
If the religion I ascribe to is not alive and does not address the injustices of this world
Then, this religion does not come from God, and is truly dead

Take a breath, George. 
Let the mist permeate
Who was born in poverty and died in disgrace and thought it worthwhile?
The world does not deserve You!
The Nations of this Earth is not worthy of Your Love or Your presence.
Truly, real beauty and love is greatest among suffering

Incomprehensible mysteries
Unconditional Love, without comparison
Accepted with lots of questions
Give me your vision and your passion
To live, to die, to Love and Hope Eternal…

Life is flying by...

Lingering

4th month in residency

Thoroughly soaked in Fun

Enjoying learning from my attendings

Loving operating with the surgeons

Pleasure working with fellow residents

We cook gourmet

We sing worship

We watch movies

We frolick at the beach

We play games/ball/frisbee

We camp

We BBQ

We massage

We fellowship

We hug

You know what they say...

Time flys when you are having fun!

The pain and hail and sleets seemed so fast in the past

But, the present seemed to be slipping all the faster

Perhaps wind is blowing by

Perhaps the ground is oily

Perhaps I'm shy and not grasping every beauty that walks by

Perhaps my heart still needs some time

I know I am doing a lot

But, somehow feeling I am also missing a lot

On my mind:

Tap show

Violin caroling

Sing out loud

Hosanna

What a beautiful voice

Tag

My name is George...

(*) Reflections 2009

Year 2005
Planting of a young tree
Full of robust potential and vitality
Ground was fertile
Gardener was eager and skilled
Tree: ready to stretch, inhale, and expand roots.

Spring
Many are the events of 2005
Formation of a new ring in my wood core
Remember standing with me in the shower of blessings?
Recall the radiant happiness of my heart?

Summer
Along with that happiness was a gift to study medicine
None would contest its challenges
40 hours in class
40 hours on weekends
What have become of my Friday nights?

Fall
First 2 years flew by
Lots of nice memories and good times
And a few challenges later
By divine appointment, I was given a gift I didn’t want
Pain
Emotional, physical, spiritual
Shaken, I quaked
Sadness, frustration, anger, depression
The ice and sleet
Shaved my pride.

Winter
Lingering fog clouds my heart still
Wildfire of anger and frustration have subsided
Tinder has been consumed
Conflicted and incapacitated
I cannot see beyond self.

Spring
As the bone chilling cold of winter pass
New breeze of ocean air washed over me
New shoots of this tree reaches out from the vine
Pods open to fragrant flowers
As my mind finds refuge from the storm and clears of fog
I found Hope and a promise for Joy.

Year 2009
What happened to the last 4 years of my life?
Where was I?
How did I get here?
I don’t know.

What I do know is:
My roots are firm
My shoots are healthy
I am still taking a breath.

As I look UP
Suddenly, I realize
There was a bigger tree
Of which I was taking its shade
I was in the refuge of those who came before me.

As for the Gardener
I’ve realized…
I know His voice!
Sang to me through the winter
Strong arms protected me from the wind
Made cover over me from frost
Placed nourishment for my roots
Pouring living Water over my core
Radiant face over my new shoots
Sweat of blood to color my flowers
Roughened hands to trim my branches
Whispering to me:
You will be shade for others some day
Trust in Me.

Yesterday is passed
Today is yours to enjoy
Tomorrow will be here before you know it.

Make most of your circumstances
Yesterday will never return
You have no other choice but to choose wisely
You are never alone!