(*) Answered Prayer. Yes, God loved us first.

God is so good. Thank you for praying for me. Remembered about a month ago on 4/24 I asked you to pray for me for a 'spirit of refreshment?' Well, let me share:

During this last year, I’ve seen a lot, done a lot, and also learned a lot. Working 80-100 hour per week for most of the year; traveled around the US (AZ, CA, OK, NY); witnessing lots of pains, suffering, and traumas; seeing the end result of depression, anxiety, suicidal attempts, years and years of not taking care of their bodies and let diseases run its course; dealing with people faking ‘medical needs’ to get attention or drugs. As a 3rd year medical student, I struggled to soak up everything I’m learning and it never seemed fast enough, while balancing with insecurities of not knowing enough and not knowing what to do… at times being afraid of doing the wrong thing while trying to help patients… inadequacy of not sure how to comfort patients as they suffer their pain and visibly see their hearts break… or getting embarrassed by the attending physician as he/she harshly correct your mis-knowledge ‘for your benefit.’ There is always the next level of excellence, and at times, your best is just not good enough.

As exhaustion sets in at the end of the school year, amidst life struggles, I was almost at the end of myself. I was so mentally and emotionally exhausted that asking for God’s help usually leads to rapid somnolence. I wondered to myself, what is all this medical stuff for? Why do we attempt to heal people and send them home… then what? They are just going to come back anyway? People have not taken good care of their bodies for all their lives, now they have some serious ‘preventable’ illnesses, and it’s now irreversible, how much good are we going to do for them? It’s like applying band-aid to heart surgery! What about those who are suffering emotional pain? What am I going to do for them? THERE HAD TO BE MORE THAN JUST HEALING TO THE BODY…

God had spoken to me and confirmed some of these passions that I have through many friends in Tulsa at the In His Image residency program. I love people and God had given me some ability to identify and understand pain. I have come to understand that pain demands faith. Reason, structure, or rule/law does not comfort pain. All people in pain need comfort, touch, and someone to just sit beside them and be compassionate.

When we treat people’s physical needs, they walk away feeling better. Patient ended up depended on the doctor. Yay doctor, you are the greatest, how can I live without you?
When you share Jesus with your patients as you treat their physical needs, they walk away feeling better and with an eternal hope. When you pray for them, you place the unknown in Jesus’ hands. You no longer claimed to be the healer; you help patients to understand that Jesus Christ is the healer. Patients ended up depended on Jesus. Yay, Jesus is the way, and we are just the instrument that is used to share His love!

When I was in Tulsa, I got to see how to be a Christian that happens to be a doctor as opposed to a doctor who’s a Christian. We had praise/worship and devotional times every morning before we started rounds and seeing our patients. I got to pray with my patients. We got to pray with family when a patient is going to die. The attending physicians join us and lead Bible studies. Doctors go all of the world for disaster relief trips… tsunamis, Katrina, Pakistan, China, and including Myanmar right now… I saw how to live out a fruitful Christian life and be a doctor as a way to facilitate healing of the body/mind/soul. I now see that medicine does not have to be an everlasting climb of the tower of excellence, and the endless provider of band-aids during heart surgery… I found that the love for medicine and people really is a LOVE DEEPLY ROOTED IN GOD. I seriously feel like I just got back from church camp!

So, GOD GAVE ME REFRESHMENT! You see, He answered your prayers and my prayers… You can never say again that God doesn’t answer prayers! I am now ready to study for my tests and I am totally looking forward for this coming year! I am very excited! To Him be all of the glory.