Shower

Mists are a place of wonder
An ambiguous space between the present and the future
A matrix of physical and spiritual, energy and matter
A place where my mind wanders

My mind zone-out and enlivens
My skin tingles and smoothens
My mouth waters and my lips moistens
In the mists my reality is fastly forgotten

The new world links to the old
From the battles between brothers and the stories foretold
Comes a timeless story mesmerized by every soul
We longed for redemption and we longed for an eternal glue that holds
Our hearts and souls in eternity sold

Yet, in my misty dream, the voice of God become clear
He recounts the mysteries our minds want to clear
He reminds me of infidelity and His blood washing it clear
He reveals knowledge and conviction that seem all too clear
He embraces me as a mist that refuse to clear

As the thrones of Vatican and Canterbury fill
As the violences in the Middle East build
As the dragon in the East grows
As the eagle dwindles and falls
The chains holding the inevitable fail

Mists turn steam
Lashes, flesh and blood fly across the expanse
Excruciating pain endured by my beloved, wrangles my gut
Injustice, oppression, slavery, deception, bondage
Murder and rape without guilt
In the name of shame we shed our own blood
In the name of family we ostracized each other’s heart
Tracing the footsteps of Cain, we continue to shed our brother’s blood

Battle sounds from helms-deep
Started the sons of Shem and Ham
Fueled by the clans of Jacob and Esau
Men killing men, brothers killing brothers
Mothers killing their babies, judiciaries killing men’s rights
As you say: oh why so down casted oh my soul?  Where is Joy?  Where is Hope?

In my misty solitude, as the mists turn into steams
As the steam enlivens and expands my inner ocean
As the waves churn and pound and attempt to drown
I miserably continue to hold onto my innards
Squeezing the nausea down my bowels


At last, my mind wonders, why a revelation of this kind has to happen in the mist
As if I wandered into an Elvin forest and emerged a different man
If the religion I ascribe to is not alive and does not address the injustices of this world
Then, this religion does not come from God, and is truly dead

Take a breath, George. 
Let the mist permeate
Who was born in poverty and died in disgrace and thought it worthwhile?
The world does not deserve You!
The Nations of this Earth is not worthy of Your Love or Your presence.
Truly, real beauty and love is greatest among suffering

Incomprehensible mysteries
Unconditional Love, without comparison
Accepted with lots of questions
Give me your vision and your passion
To live, to die, to Love and Hope Eternal…

Weird and Alien! Tardigrade... and Mouse with human brain cells!

 

 Are aliens real?  may be!  If I tell you that there is an actual organism that can live in impossible conditions, would you believe me?  I wouldn't!

This little 1 mm catepillar like bug can survive 300 degree F, 300 degrees F below zero, 570,000 roentgen of radiation, complete vacuum, needing no water for years... NASA even sent them to space on the 'outside' of the space vehicle... and... they survived! 

That is a 'Tardigrade' or 'Water Bear.'  They have a mouth, a digestive tract, 4 paires of legs and claws, and muscles.  They are actually real and ubiquitous!  You can find them by taking a dryed moss in a forest and rehydrate it.  They will come a live.  They use a mechanism of 'cryptobiosis,' or 'suspended animation,' to survive.  They literally curl up and die, then gets revived when living conditions are good again.

http://youtu.be/SUC0_HjNFBs

http://youtu.be/7W194GQ6fHI

---
Other weird stuff I read is that some mice are getting human progenitor brain cells injected into their brains and when the human brain cells take over... these mice are SMARTER!  They perform more complicated tasks and with more focus...  What's next?

http://youtu.be/_Mpk7ngKCOE

(*) 12 Thoughts on The Kingdome of Heaven

Thought 1: Matthew 13:44 – Kingdom of Heaven is like hidden treasure.  A man found it and hid it again.  Then he sold everything he had and bought the field.
      What I've Learned to the above parable:
   Layer 1: why would the Kingdom of Heaven be something one can purchase?  Is it greed driven or true-love driven?
   Layer 2: giving up everything to acquire possession more abundant than one can earn… There is an uncontrollable, deep, visceral response when we encounter a great treasure.  It drives us to behave oddly and above rationality.  It grabs our faculties.
   Layer 3: When we find an immense treasure like the Kingdom of Heaven, it should trigger an uncontrollable visceral response to acquire it at all cost.

Boasting (said or unsaid) = number keeping, record keeping, accomplishments, achievements, titles, people pleasers, insecurities

Thought 2: Jesus uses parables to sieve out the genuine seekers from chaff, the imposters. 
   What I've Learned: If we don’t seek deeper wisdom and just merely rely on what is obvious, then we are actually missing the message.

Thought 3: Parable of the sower:

1.      Seed = Word of God = Scripture = Christ
2.      Soil = Condition and readiness of heart to grow the ‘seed’
      What I've Learned:
1.      Do not be ready to assume the quality of my own soil!
2.      Thorns = anything that distracts us from God.  We simplify life by removing thorns.  We accumulate piles and piles of thorns.  God is the sunlight.  Thorns cover the soil and seeds from getting the nutrition of God’s light.  Periodically, God’s fire is necessary to burn off all the thorns to turn them into fertilizers for our soil, so the seeds can grow.

Thought 4: Are we trying to be just good enough or simply meeting our own expectations?  We assume that we know who God is to us… we do what we think He would want us to do, but we always fail!  On one hand, we strive for our idea of what it means to be God’s child, on the other hand, we know that the best we can give God is like ‘filthy rags.’  So, why are we trying?  
      What I've Learned: God did everything for us already, why are we still trying to reach God or to please God?  He put Himself among us… Emmanuel.  I don’t know why, but He did.  So, how should we behave if everything is already done, we can’t do anything or add anything!  I think ALL we need to do is to recognize His presence, invite Him in, cling to Him, let His will be our will, and let us go wherever He goes… (simply, it is not about what you do or say for God or not for God)

Thought 5: Isaiah 29:13 “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.  Their worship of me is made up of only rules taught by men.”
      What I've Learned: This verse pierces through ‘religion.’  Religion is a made up set of rules, used by men to control men.  All religion is the same, dead.  A genuine God-follower, although doesn’t live contrary to these rules, abandons the rules and approaches God as reality, fully expresses all humanity married with the presence of God.  This is expressed in perfection through Jesus the Messiah. 

Thought 6: Do you want to be saved from your sins or just the penalty of your sins?  Sin = reality without God.  Penalty of sin = eternity without God. 
   What I've Learned: Why would one want to be with God for eternity if they don’t want God in the first place?  Why do all religions attract us to live a perfect life in ‘heaven’ without God?  And why would there be various levels of perfection in many ‘tiers of heaven’?  Many levels of perfection really mean no perfection at all… interesting!  Perfection is One.  God is One.

Thought 7: This Sunday in church, I heard a sermon on the topic of Deo Volente, or, God’s Will, in James 4.  “If the LORD wills, then we shall live and do this or that.”  Boasting or planning anything apart from God is evil!  “To him who knows to do good and does not do it, sins.” 
      What I've Learned: We typically think that if we know what is right and don’t do it, then we sin.  This expends ‘sin’ from ‘reality without God’ to everything we don’t do right!  NO, this is not what it means!  Read it in context.  It really means that if we make plans apart from God’s Will, it is sin!  This interpretation is consistent with the definition of ‘sin’ as ‘reality without God.’  Anything without God is ‘sin,’ thus, planning without God is sin also.

Thought 8: The first and greatest commandment: “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” – Deuteronomy 6:5, Matthew 22:37, Mark 12:30, Luke 10:27.  The second greatest commandment: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
      What I've Learned: If we are to model after God’s love, our love should also be unconditional.  We love regardless if the other satisfies our criteria.  We love God first, then others second.  Neighbors, often time they are friends and foes.  So, we are to love our friends and our enemies alike!  Wow, how it confronts our limits!  Does love exclude or embrace?  Righteousness and justice as balanced by love and grace.  Love and grace win!  Our righteousness and justice should come as second place to our love and grace… as modeled by Christ.  We are failures, but Christ embraces us and brings us into His family regardless that we are so wrong in His eyes.

Thought 9: CS Lewis said “It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this.”
      What I've Learned: We can tell a person’s destination by how they invest themselves on Earth.  Jesus the Messiah is always among the poor/oppressed/sick/broken/sinners… If we want to be Jesus’ follower, we should be there too, regardless of our wealth. He can use everyone.  The wealth He gives us, gives us greater responsibility.  If we don’t invest in eternity, that’s how we become ‘ineffective.’  To fight ineffectiveness is to invest in eternity.  Eternity is where Jesus is, so do what He did when He was here.  That’s how we become effective, and this is how the world is going to see Jesus.

Thought 10: Isaiah 58 – “This is the kind of fasting I have chosen: to lose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke”
      What I've Learned: The fast that God has taken is also what Jesus the Messiah look like when He was here.  The fast is not to check off a list of things to do.  It is not for self-righteousness or self-glorification.  It is for God!  It is to set the oppressed free!  We cannot fast to God and then turn around to oppress another or to do nothing when we know others are oppressed!  That is essentially what a hypocrite does!  God said hypocrites are lukewarm and He will spit them out of His mouth!

Thought 11: We structure our lives so we don’t have to live by faith.  We are well stocked.  We store up for our future.  So, when something unexpected happens, we question God and we give up our trust in Him. 
      What I've Learned: Wow.  That’s me.  I keep thinking about how to get rid of loans, how to buy investments and insurance.  I am the rich person who’s building more barns for storage.  God would say to me “what a fool, this very night your life will be taken from you…”  Oh God, forgive me, what should I do next?

Thought 12: We equate our partially sanitized lives with holiness.  We daily wash clean the outside of ourselves, but our insides are like the flower vase on the shelf, it is full of dirt and uncleanliness. 
      What I've Learned: We wash up on the outside, do all the right rituals, read God’s Word, pray, give our monies, and go to religious services…  But, all that ‘holiness’ is just like cleaning the outside of our container.  However, on the inside, it is filthy.  It never gets cleaned.  It just accumulates spider webs and dirt.  We don’t go through our lives and take the time to dig into the deepest and darkest corners of our insides to ask God to come in and purify and to wash our dirt away.  We don’t let God turn us upside down, scrub us inside out, and bleach us with the redemption of His blood. 

My Prayer:
God I realized that I am a sinner in every way.  I am broken.  I am being broken.  You have blessed me, yet, I have been storing up the wealth instead of being generous.  I call myself follower of Jesus, but I don’t act like Jesus the Messiah.  Please help me to worship You with my heart not by following rules created by men.  Help me to seek Your will first in everything, and never make plans apart from You.  Help me to not just talk about doing Your will, but to actually ‘do’ Your will.  Help me to Love You first, above all else, then to love others, especially my enemies.  Help me not to store up wealth, but do as you commanded, to share the wealth you have given to me, especially to those who cannot pay me back.  Help me God, to take on the ‘fasting’ that you have chosen for Yourself, to break the chains of injustices and to set the oppressed free.  Help me to not judge others, but to love them.  Help me not to ‘fast’ or do things for self-righteousness or self-glorification.  God, please send your holy fire to burn up all the thorns in my life, to turn distraction into fertilizers for my soil.  God, help me to give me opportunity to prepare my soil for your seed to grow and make me a better cultivator of my soil and other soils around me.  God, please turn my vessel inside out, scrub me clean on the inside, and bleach me with your blood.  God, I now understand this struggle and unease as the work of your scrub brush within my soul.  I also take comfort that sufferings and trials are the evidence of your holy fire burning through me to rid impurities and create fertilizer for my heart to grow deeper roots in You.  God, prepare me to receive from You and to receive You.  It is such a mystery that, though You are completely capable to do everything on Your own, that You desire us to experience You and have chosen me to come along side and participate in what You are doing in this world.  Thank You for Your everlasting love.  I am at peace now in the refuge of your overwhelming embrace. 

Funny and Entertaining Videos

Just something ridiculous and fun to share :-)

http://www.nasa.gov/multimedia/videogallery/index.html
This one is really cool.  I now have a good idea of what the international space station is like.

http://www.ted.com/talks/gary_greenberg_the_beautiful_nano_details_of_our_world.html
Never knew that sand is all so beautiful and unique, and it tells us so much…

http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/lennon-maisy-live-youtube/id555053161
Wow, amazing voices…

http://www.youtube.com/user/pipeorozcoo/videos
Funniest costumes ever!

http://www.pianojuggler.com/
Creepy but so talented!

http://www.youtube.com/channel/UClUGmdsjjhL_wDZaSR-qjEg/videos
Ha ha ha…

 

The Virtual Human Embryo!!!

WOW, let me tell you... if you are not amazed with things in this world, you will be amazed by this.  I was listening to Dr. Brian Stillwell, who is the president of Endowment of Human Developement, who made available these awesome resources for us!

Have you ever seen pictures of the real human embryo?  Have you ever wondered what babies look like when they are inside the womb, growing, beating and kicking? 

Well, here is a resource you don't want to miss!  They produced a video with National Geographics and its a DVD you can buy, or see footages on their website!  Check out these link on the baby heart.

Do you want to geek out on embryology and some rare and very good qualities pictures of the human embryo?  Click here:  THE REAL VIRTUAL HUMAN EMBRYO...

Check this out! 

Indiana First Impression...

COLD and snowy!  Apparently I missed the Christmas snow.  I am a spoiled California brat!  I can't believe people live under 40 degree F temperature!  Ha ha.  I know, I know, I do go skiing and such and love it.  But, I was not expecting 5 degree F when I stepped off the airplane!  Yesterday morning was around 8 degrees and today is about 22 F.  And the news said 'wind chill factor' brings it down to about 0 to -1 degree F.  And then, guess what else the news said... 'warm season is coming!' Really?!  Yeah, its coming... its called Spring and it is coming in like 4 months!

You know, I don't think people know how to respond to Asians in this area of the country!  I had some people think I am 12 years old!  People!  I can't even begin to tell you that if you guess that I was in my early or mid twenties, I would be flattered, but anything in the teens, I am actually offended!

And, this morning, I was having one of my complementary breakfast in the hotel, and apparently I have already finished my food, the hispanic cleaning lady came up and reached for my plate (btw, a very kind thing to do), and she said it very clearly, as if she has been practicing for this moment...  Ohio-go-zy-i-mas...  I paused and said 'hum'.  Then she said it again as if I haven't heard her... Ohio-go-zy-i-mas...  I gave her a nod and left.   HELLO, that's Japanese for whatever-it-is... and I am not Japanese.  But, I appreciate the effort.  I thought to myself, man, if I was in California, that would never happen, even in redneckville...  Then, I thought to myself, yeah, Californians are probably too afraid of offending people and error on saying nothing...

Wow, these Indianians are just so blunt, I tell you!  Or, tactless?!  I'll give them a few more days... ha ha ha...

(*) We can die anytime! Regrets? Anxieties? Self-Obsessions?

 

 

“You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.”  -Proverbs 19:21

Job 38,40
² “Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words? ³ Brace yourself like a man, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them.”
⁴ Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?
⁸ Who kept the sea inside its boundaries, this far and no farther will you come.
⁴¹ Who provides food for the ravens when their young cry out to God in hunger?

² “Do you still want to argue with the Almighty?
You are God’s critic, but do you have the answers?”
⁸ Will you discredit my justice and condemn me just to prove you are right?
⁹ Are you as strong as God? Can you thunder with a voice like his?

¹⁴ How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. ¹⁵ What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” ¹⁶ Otherwise you are boasting about your own plans, and all such boasting is evil. ¹⁷ Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.  –James 4:13-17

As I start this chapter, I’m thinking, life is too busy.  Too many things.  Too overwhelming.  There is no time to work, study, learn, and plan where God wants me to be and really think about what He’s will is for my life.  Busy-ness makes me ignore life.  Sweep everything under the rug to deal with them later.  I live like I know I have another day to deal with unresolved business and unconfronted transgressions. 

I realized that even if I do my best to plan life well, experiences tell me that God ALWAYS change my plans.  Though I don’t get what I ask for, He somehow makes things more beautiful than what I can ever ask for or achieve on my strength alone… 

If my desire is to be the ‘apple of God’s eyes,’ am I spending enough time in front of God’s face enough to see myself in His eyes?

As I sip my cup of hot Aztec spicy mocha espresso latte from the Flying Goat Café in downtown Santa Rosa, I am struggling to wrap my mind around how apparently complex life is, and at the same time, how paradoxically simple life is…

Is God really the center of my life?  Is He the apple of my eye?  Well, OF COURSE NOT IF I’M SO SELF ABSORBED!  I think about myself all the time.  I worry about my future.  I worry about my relationships.  I worry about what people think of me.  I worry about my debts.  I worry about my performance at work.  I worry about EVERYTHING!  My mind won’t let me go.  My guilt won’t let me go.  My shame won’t let me go.  My own unforgiveness won’t let me go!  SELF-OBSESSION… 

Self-obsession makes me speed-walk unconsciously through crowds, splitting groups of people, with my head buried between my shoulders and my eyes piercing through the ground…  consciously, attentively, focusedly… lost… marinated in my own thoughts that swirled around a soupy existence of cosmic conglomeration of thoughts.  Thoughts that integrate at the same time disintegrate.  Grasping the fog…  Head in the cloud or in the concrete? Ying-Yang? 

Ironic, I don’t think about things that are going right. 
Just like my mind don’t tend to highlight areas in life that are functioning healthily and correctly,
I don’t think about my body, the wonder of it all, the miracle that it is self sustaining and self healing.  What kind of creative wisdom God must have put into it… it is incredible!
I don’t think about people around me.  The masses are like props or extras on a movie set. 
I don’t think about how my actions right now is impacting or changing the future of myself, my family or the world.
I don’t think about my age.
What is on my mind?
To become debt free
Incongruence of various life compartments
Most of all:
I fear being made ineffective and unable to accomplish God’s will and His purpose for my life!
Desperate,  I need solutions for my paralysis.

We all have worries… I think it really reflect a basic trust issue I have for God.  Same principle applies when anyone reads the Bible or approach any topic of discussion that is worth pondering… the root of the issue at hand is ALWAYS SPIRITUAL.  The apparent and surface issues may be physical, it may be relational, it may be unacceptable expectations, it may be traumatic, it may be extremely sad or happy, it may be out of your control…  Stress… Anxiety… Depression… unhealthy compensations…But the deep: …SPIRITUAL…  Control issues?  …SPIRITUAL…

This has never come up to me before!  Today is the first day I realized that I have control and trust issues with God!  Once He has enlightened my heart, I have to address it now!  

REQUESTS:
God please give me strength and ability to release my control and stress and trust to you.  God show me what You want me to do today!  It takes effort to hear from God.  I must re-organize my life to put God first, rather than my own worries.  I have to die to the process of myself in this world.  May God increase as I decrease.  I have to let go of my job, family, relationships, and myself.  God, please remove my distractions that take place of You in my heart/mind/soul.  Please lift the thick veil that is covering my eyes and the eyes of those around me so that we can experience a truly fulfilled life and become the ‘Apple of Your Eye.’

(*) Crazy Love: Stop praying! Stop talking 'at' God.

Eccl 5:1-2 “Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart by hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth.  Therefore, let your words be few.”

“Men are not impressed with their insignificance until they contrast themselves with the majesty of God” -Sproul.

God didn’t have to create an intense diversity of the same things… but He did!

All creation worship God.  Psalm 19:1-4.  “Heaven declare Glory to God, skies proclaim works of His hands, Day after day, they pour forth speech…”

We don’t get to define God.  God is holy, all knowing, all powerful, eternal, fair and just

Heb 4:13 “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight.  Everything is uncovered and lay bare before Him…”

Col 1:16 “Everything is created by Him, for Him.”

Psalm 115:3, Daniel 4:35 “God does what He pleases.”

Something to think about:
As I sat here in my favorite coffee shop, my mind churns and my heart is exploding.  I start thinking… why do I pray?  What is prayer?  Why do I talk to an invisible God?  How can I believe in the existence of God, a force invisible, love and just?  How do I know it is one God, not many gods… what does He offer or why does He need to exist?  Why is this God the “Truth” and others are not?!  My finite brain goes crazy! 

First of all, instead of going into apologetics and polemics and using multiple libraries of references to answer these questions… let’s just get simple. 

First we have to be honest with ourselves:

1.      We didn’t create the world

2.      We cannot explain exactly how we all get here and why everything exist

3.      Despite all of our theories, we still don’t have a grip on the explanation.  Theories continue to change and ‘evolve.’

4.      As much as we study the wonder and attention to detail of our world, we are limited by our existing technology, though we are making leaps and bounds, and we are limited by our ability to understand.  Aren’t you amazed?  In the history of the world, our capabilities just continue to get better and more advanced!  Even in our physical capabilities… how come the same body a few thousand years ago cannot do what we do today, cannot create out of the same conserved matter on this planet what we are making today, or to create data out of nothing, or to create other matter that are controlled by other matter, even thinking and processing the world by themselves… automation… all created by us?  We continue to explore the details of space and even the human body… how long have physicians been dissecting the body and looking at it?  How come we don’t have it all figured out?  How do we heal wounds?  We don’t!  We can do everything to encourage healing, but we cannot actually heal.  I am a physician and have seen many bodies fail and die despite the best care we offer…

Well, it seems to me, there are way too much we can’t explain without a “cause.”  Things this wonderful and complicated cannot just simply ‘exist’ or ‘evolve’ without a cause or have momentum for change and development.  What gave the first push?  What started the life?  If the world is just in a continuum of motion and now it is just continued to be in motion… What started the first motion?  What about the 2^nd law of thermodynamics, entropy, where everything tends to go from order to disorder.  This world is continually degrading, not constructing…  The world gets older, all life dies at some point and birth happens at some point… this testifies to an incomprehensive and wonderful ability for body to heal, at the same time, an inability to regenerate and to repair damages to our bodies fast enough to keep us from getting old.  How does the first life know to evolve a particular process to repair itself, nevertheless, millions of simultaneous needs in one body to repair itself every second… how does the first life know to repair one damage vs a million damages in the cellular level?  If God doesn’t exist, none of our theories comes close to offer a plausible explanation.  None.  Ironically, possibly creatively paradoxically, among all its mysteries, existence of God makes most sense and is the simplest idea to understand!  The youngest of child should be able to understand the simple truth of God, it shouldn’t take an intellectual to understand God.

If God exist, does He exist for us?  If that is true, then we are a necessity for God’s existence.  If that’s true, then we can make demands or requests to God and we would expect that God would listen to us.  If god is many, then which one should I get to know or to worship or to please?  Should I spend every second in life worrying about not be able to worship all of the gods or to please them? Or, to abide by all the rules of each individual diety?  What are their boundaries or expectations?  Too much to know even for one God, why would you want more than one?  Enough wonders and headaches comes from having one spouse, why would anyone want more than one to cherish?  Wouldn’t you want to be loved by ONE and to give your whole heart to ONE, rather than giving part of your heart to many and to know that you are not the only one THEY love?  To know the absolute standard of holiness and justice and love… absolute defines one God, one standard, to which everything else gets compared to.  Ironically, possibly creatively paradoxically, oneness of God makes most sense and is again the simplest idea to understand! 

Now, if there is a One Holy Absolute God… why do I drop off my “laundry list” when I pray to Him?!  I wonder why God hasn’t strike me mute for constantly annoying Him like a dripping faucet with the way I pray.  We show so much contempt, so much irreverence, so much arrogance, so much pride, so much disrespect to our LORD and King.  Why do I pray to God with a ‘pre-fabricated prayer,’ like a fixed prayer that I pray everytime before meals or needing a parking space…  Does He not know my needs before I see it?  Does He not know where I am going or what my troubles are before I am there?  With His splendor and indescribable majesty, how can I think that offering my best in exchange for some of His graces is good enough for Him?  How can I think that my best, or the labors of my blood, is worth anything to purchase anything from God?  God is not impressed with my offerings or what I can give Him.  My best looks worst than dust in comparison to His glory!  Imagine you approaching the king in all His majesty with your head bowed to the ground… Now, say one of the prayers that you say every day… Imagine that?!  Will you be ashamed?  Will you be mute?  Does that sound preposterous?

Imagine a king in all his majesty inviting the lowliest of his kingdom to dine with him and to offer love and life for them… unimaginable!  But, that is our God!

It is precisely this simple truth that showed me that everything good comes from God.  Everything I have comes from God (job, money, possession, friends, family, even my ability to love God, even my desire to want to spend time with Him, even my desire for the knowledge and understand of Him comes from Him!)  It is God’s choice alone to create us.  It is God’ choice alone to want to redeem us back into heaven.  It is God’s choice alone to want to restore our sinfulness to His glory and holiness.  It is God’s choice alone to want to bless us so we can bless others.  It is God’s choice alone to give us desire for Him.  It is not based on anything we can do for God or what we are doing right in our lives to make us thing that we are closer to God than other people.  God’s love and blessing in our lives come only from Him!  We cannot earn it.  We cannot deserve it.  We are completely useless in comparison to Him.  Yet, the holy God of the universe decided to love us and to give us life and to instruct us to share His love, His story, and His gifts and blessings with everyone around us.  Amazing… speechless…. What else can I say?

Have you ever been amazed at those other humanoids around you?  What impressed you about them?  How long will your amazement last?  Will you remember them for ages and ages to come?  Or even for 10 min until you meet another amazing humanoid?  God never ceases to amaze me!

The world has no desire for Him.  The world has intense desire to fill a void that they cannot fill, because, the void is actually God Himself.  In fact, as much as the world tries to fill the void in their heart, oxymoronically, it also has an intense hatred for God!  Yes, the world hates God.  God is judgment to them.  God is hell to them.  God makes them feel guilty and ashamed and uncomfortable.  They don’t see how God can be loving or enjoyable.  They don’t care about God.  They won’t do anything for those who are suffering, though they won’t stop talking about it.  They see children and women being killed and trafficked but they won’t do anything to help.  They only put up a front, a façade, and actions of love are not part of their reality.  They only dream and debate and argue… but never put it into action.  They live in their minds and not in their bodies… or live completely in their body and not in their hearts.  They are ‘faith’ without ‘action’… and/or ‘action’ without ‘faith.’  They are impotent.  They are paralyzed by fear.  They are ineffective.  They are just fake. 

It is like there is a thick veil that covers their eyes between the 'windows of their soul' to the holy presence of God.  Like the curtain that covered the Holy of Holys in the temple, which in the hour of Jesus, it was torn apart... so that forever in eternity, we are no longer separated from His presence... but, His presence fills us and enables us and completes us.

The indicator of God in your life is that you will have a desire to pursue after God, to want to spend time with Him, to make His concerns your concerns, and that your heart will break for what breaks His heart.  If you don’t have this, God is probably not at the center of your heart.  If you have any desire for God at all, you need to re-evaluate yourself and ask God to help you make Him the center of your life!  The desire to love God is supernatural, not natural! 

Request: 
God would you please create a whole new worship experience for me?  God please forgive me.  Forgive my transgressions.  I am at fault of many of the things you have revealed to me in the above passage.  Please draw me into your heart.  Please allow my heart to be overwhelmed by You.  Please don’t let me out of Your presence, even with all of my faults and disobediences.  Please heal my wounds.  Please wrap Your arms of refuge around me.  I want to dwell in Your presence forever.   www.crazylovebook.com

It has been a long time...

You know, I first created this blog to sort out things in my head... I guess now I am busy enough that thoughts my head just constantly gets buried. I really miss blogging. However, my most recent development is my knowledge, skills, perception, and depth of understanding when it comes to osteopathy. I've recently went to the Cranial Osteopathy course and the Cranial conference by the American Cranial Academy. I had so many new revelations there and met so many very interesting people... which made my time very enjoyable there.

I loved getting to know some individuals deeply and connecting in various ways that are quite unusual for me, but in ways that spoke to my heart and soul. I felt that there were definitely magical moments that will treasure in my heart for a long time... they are definitely imprinted in my journey to become a better osteopathic physician. My love for osteopathy grows tremendously every day! Now, I am seeing and approaching my patients with such a different and refreshing perspective, that I even get refreshed each time I think that way.

I also love the modern practice of medicine and surgery, and enjoyed learning that, but, the addition of osteopathic principles give all of it a spunk!

Another thing I started to do is the idea of grounding... more contact time with nature and earth. Connecting in nature. I started going down to the beach and walk and meditate in the ocean waters before work. Just of few times a week makes me feel refreshed and centered. I get to pray, sing, think about our Father's love for us, and appreciate the rhythm of God's wonderful creation, which our existance are intertwined in.

I love it... living the life... time of peace and connection, with those around me, and with my family and my Creator.

Moab, Utah

Wow, has it really been 3 months since my last blog?! I must be having too much fun in residency! This year has really flew by fast! I only have 5 more weeks left. I have 2 vacations during these last few weeks, and the first one is to Moab... here is my story:

Far far away from residency and the beach and home, I have found myself in the midst of a ton of red rock formations. The stress and fast pace of residency seemed to be a million mile away, 783 miles to be exact. Why did I come? AWLS! Advanced Wilderness Life Support course. This course taught me how to do wilderness patient assessment, treatment, and rescue. A short list of topics are: avalanche, climbing, altitude sickness, infections, burns, lighting, drowning, fractures/dislocations, bites and stings, water disinfection, hypo/hyperthermia, frostbites, ENT, and lots of hands on wilderness scenarios...

Our teachers consist of 3 ER docs in the special forces in the Army, a couple of docs who are professional rescuers, and other Wilderness Medical Society members. We learned in the classroom and out in the field. We also had a few evening sessions taught by various experts... one of note is Greg Child, who is a world expert climber and mountaineer. He did a presentation of his climb on K2 in 1990. Imagine being on 28000 feet climbing without ropes or oxygen! He is definitely of a different genetic make up than I.


A picture of K2, bordering Pakistan and China... the 2nd tallest peak in the world.

Pictures of Arches National Park:
So, of course, when I am not in class, this is where I am... I hiked 12.5 miles in Arches the first day and then few more the other days, and end with 3 hours of hike in the Fiery Furnance on my last day there. Here are some pictures...

The Landscape Arch, longest one, longer than the football field and only about 6 feet thick at the thinnest spot. Kept going on this hike took me to the Partition Arch that gave me 2 beautiful window views to the vally below.

Walking on top of a 'fin'... these verticle sheet of red rock are called fins... the tops of these fins are made of sand stone and the base layer is something harder and less water penetrable. So, as water travel from top to bottom through the middle of the sand stone, it gets collected at the bottom and eventually erode away a 'puddle' of sand stone forming an Arch.

The Delicate Arch: unofficial symbol of Utah. It is very tall!

Driving around, I found and will name this one the Whale Rock! And my camp.

Petroglyphs, or rock art, are found in various places on the canyon walls. Some are of styles that are consistant with time periods between 5,500 BC to 1,880 AD. Here I am point to a picture of a woman giving birth...

More rock art and a pair of dinosaur foot tracks... interesting?!

Continue on... here is a Mesa Arch at Canyonlands, and Double Arch at Arches.

"Islands in the Sky" at Canyonlands National Park.

Biking at Slickrock Trail:

In between, I did at 12.7 mile bike ride in Slickrock Trail... This is what is posted at the trailhead: "The Slickrock Trail is physically demanding and technically difficult. Although the main trail is 'only' about 12.7 miles long (out and back to the trailhead), you should allow 4 to 5 hours to complete the trail. Riders should also be aware that there is no bike route more challenging in the entire Moab area. Injuries are fairly common here; unfortunately, some of them have been quite serious. The Slickrock Trail is to be approached with respect."

Coolest offroad vehicle! Ever!

Me and the snowcapped LaSal mountains behind me; also the Colorado River...

My Action Shots...

Hiking inside the Fiery Furnace at Arches. I named this the "Thumb Up" rock... you see it?

Wedged in the crack...

Surprise Arch and the Goggle Arch... just right around the corner of this hike...

Lastly, we cannot leave without talking about this Cryptobiotic Soil... These little bumps are made up of cyanobacteria, fungus and other micro-organisms. It creates a structure to hold water and moister and produces nitrogen fixation so the plants can grow in the desert sand. Without it, there would be no obvious life. So, don't step on it! This patch probably is about 250 years old!

So, I hope you've enjoyed my pictures... I am determined to learn more about wilderness rescue and my role as the medical provider. Stay tuned...